Friday, December 19, 2014

blowing up the dust

{My first met w Ben's mummy, daddy and his lil bro earlier this month}

What a tough semester you guys. A lot of assignments were given but only managed to find a slight of reference materials :( Plus, I faced so many health problems and last month was the worst. I skipped so many classes but due to so many group meeting and presentations,  I still need to wake up and get dressed as usual. Except, I don’t do my everyday makeup and refused to wear contact lenses because I get paranoid thinking about what if I get so sick and fainted with my lenses on? Walking slow with pale face and short sighted, I thought all days I must be looked like a zombie.

I hate that last few weeks I get super moody and grumpy. I guess it is because the pressures that life brings to me. I regret that very much, the moody and grumpy thingies. Because it was terrible, like very terrible you guys. I am stupid enough to shout over the boy for any small mistakes either made by me or him to release the burdens. So when the boy get angry (too) and went away, I was left to my own devices and felt so lonely. I just realize that I rely for happiness, entertainment, get my jobs done, and almost everything on that boy way too much. So when he is not around, I become a hermit :( 


I've learned if something is important to me, I should get the thing done myself. If I want something, it was me who should work hard to get them in my hand. If I want to go to somewhere, it was me who should get my ass off to go to the places. So at least, if the thing doesn't work like how I desired it to be, I have no one to blame but myself.

And, we both discovered that hard times can help us learn how to appreciate a person or things even more. Sometimes we have to feel alone and frightened before we can appreciate. Say sorry before its too late! Not just about love and lover thingies lah, we should appreciate mummy daddy too, family, good friends, anyone and everything in our surrounding. I hope you can relate!

Anyway, one most important thing that I've learned is, we should never give up on person we love. I mean like why let go something that you once wanted? Kan?!


Tuesday, October 21, 2014

bapa curiosity

I am very happy to tell you guys that recently bapa bought me a car! I'd say I am the happiest girl in the world when bapa surprised me that night cox I  finally have to-worry-no-more about the transportation problems that I faced almost forever. Thank you father! So yesterday early morning, bapa took me to a-drive-better-lesson. Before we get started, we stopped at a roadside food stall to have breakfast. There were a group of young men waiting for their food to be served. A quarter minutes later, groups of families come over to have breakfast too. The atmosphere was good, as well as the food. After we finish our meal, bapa comes up with his silly questions like usual, I knew he'd started it again!

With curiosity and high volume bapa asked:

  • Bapa: Kalau ikan kan, dorang berlari kah berenang?
  • Me: {What?} Berenang lah ^^
  • Bapa: Kalau ikan lari, istilah dia berenang juga?
  • Me: Eyaaa ^^
  • Bapa: Ikan ni pandai penat kah?
  • Me: {No doubt I answered} Pandai lah! 
  • Bapa: Kalau ikan penat, dorang berpeluh kah?!

LOLOL kill me now. I can feel pairs of eyes looking at us like neither I or bapa is stupid. This crazy daddy of mine, he always has something ridiculous to say.

As bapa pay the bill, I thought my drive-better-lesson is now getting started. But I was wrong when bapa drove the car heading up to the town and parked in front of a shop selling car goods and accessories.

  • Bapa: Jom cari sticker untuk lekat di kereta baru ni.

Aaaa not again! I don't want bapa spoiled my car with nonsense wording stickers like what he did to our myvi previously. So with less agree I responded:

  • Me: Eeee, sticker apa?
  • Bapa: Hello Kitty lah.
  • Me: Ah?

I jump out from the car instantly LOLOL.

I have the craziest yet the best daddy, ever.

Friday, September 26, 2014

life update and some little things

Hello! Its been a month I didn't hang around here!

New sem has begun. I am now a non resident of the residential college. I must say I am so excited about living in so called my very own house because it’s been one of my dream that someday I will move into an apartment, take a glass of juice for breakfast, wake up every day before the sun really rises to have a great ride on a bicycle while listening to some happy song.

For this moment I don’t own a bicycle lah hahaha. But it doesn't really matter cox I finally live in my own house and I can cook my food everyday!! come problems.

1) I don't have personal transport.
2) I don't have driving license.
3) I don't know how to drive HAHAHA.

I get so stress about transportation ya know? Like how can I go to kuliah lah? Rumah jauh dari kampus. Taking bus is fine but it takes up to 2 hours bah baru sampai kampus. Macam mana nda stress lagilagi kalau class start jam 8? Padahal kalau naik kereta 10 minit saja sudah sampai. Problem baby, problem.


Then, I am so grateful to have this boy in my life because he own a car LOL. He fetch and send me home everyday, problem solved! He helped me a lot, thank you baby. I love you! Even if you don't own a car I still love you whatt! :))

Before I move into the apartment, bapa worked very hard to complete the house. Installation of the lights and fans, wall additions, home renovations, build in furniture is all done by bapa, assisted by some of his friends, of course. I thank God for that man. he can do almost everything!

Mama came to city last Monday to attend a course for five days and sleepover at my house. Mama and Ben first met last night and I forgot to take photos of them two haish!! Next meeting must take photos!! To put up in my blog lah hehe!!

{Hey you this is me, using cam360 LOLOL}

I figured out it was better to get rid the old before buying the new one.  I reuse and wrapped my old books to give them a new look. I gathered all the old stationery of mine, threw away the unusable one. So many lah!! I was like haish!! Why bah I like to collect trash!! So no new pens, no new notebooks. no back to school shopping, nothing really new, except a new phone that mama bought for me, that I use to do above selfie, and taking lecture notes hehe!

I know you also use your handphone to capture lecture notes kan?! Takpayah nak buat muka student innocent kat sini.

{Dinner together last night to celebrate our monthsary}

I'm so happy yesterday, thank you baby Bunny. Bunny was the sweetest ever when he said, “baby you are now my purpose to live”, with elaboration why it was me, of course . I wrote this because that is the sweetest thing that someone ever told me and I would never let the boy to forget that, I AM HIS PURPOSE TO LIVE FTWWW.

Bunny, dalam masa beberapa tahun akan datang kita akan baca balik blog ni dan ketawa bersama-sama. I finally make a purpose why I should keep this blog. Hehek!

Have a great day everyone! (:

Monday, August 25, 2014

happy monthsary

Boy you're dope. I love you so much! Happy monthsary!

Thursday, July 31, 2014

raya with ex-schoolmates

My second and third Eid were surrounded by lovely funny allies. Thank you for bringing so many belly laughter to my home and others (too), friends. I enjoy raya with all of you crazy pals!


Monday, July 28, 2014

wishing you selamat hari raya aidilfitri 1435 hijrah

-- much love, me 

Dear my mummy and my daddy,
my grandparents, aunties, uncles, and the kids,
ex-classmates, ex-schoolmates, teachers and friends,
Ben and the whole family,

I wish everyone would have a rejoicing and meaningful raya that would bring joy to our heart and home. I wish we all happiness, may we'd be blessed with peace by forgiving others with sincerity, and may Allah ease the suffering of our muslim sisters and brothers all around the globe. I seek for forgiveness and I expect nothing in return other than hoping everyone would find and feel the happiness on this happy day, and always, especially for those people who I really love.

 Happy Eid Ul Fitr al mubarak, everyone. Selamat hari raya aidilfitri, maaf zahir dan batin 

Friday, July 25, 2014

we all need the one who can be true to you

"Bukan seorang yang romantik"

Bukan seorang yang romantic is one of the things that Ben told me about him in the early weeks. I remember at the beginning of relationship, Ben and I respectively act very macho, polite and cool. We talked more about serious things, life, views and discussing about each other perspectives because he is really not that romantic LOL. The way how he talks makes me think that he was such a very serious person which is very contrary to me lah, so I thought I might die boring.

Aku kan jiwang LOL, but I actually liked that.

I like to know that I have someone who is way more matured than me. Ben is a very forward-thinker person I have ever met. He loves to think about so many things lah and future too. He constantly thinks and talks about what obstacles or problems that might hit in between in life, and say we must be prepared for everything, practically asked me to join the club; to be a well prepared person on earth everr! Okay, okay baby.

And I love I found out that, he is actually so sweet.

I love how he texts me first and checks me up every night. I love to hear him playing the guitar while singing a song for me. The way how he looks in my eyes makes my heart melted over and over again. And what I really love is he gave me attention without me asking. And now day by day, our conversation is getting fun. The child in him finally started to show and I liked that! You know finally to see someone yang serius rupanya gila juga.

Recently Ben sang a song for me, Dear God by Avenged Sevenfold which is not really related to us except yes we are much too far way now. So basically Ben sang the song to express his hope that God would hold me when he is not around? That is so sweet hahaha.

"We all need the one who can be true to you"

I am glad it was me, and YOU.

Ben this is you without neck hahaha!

Within this month, I wrote down some of the sweetest and funny things that Ben said to me. I did this at first because I have nothing to do but then I found it was hilarious to recall back some of the things. I shorten, these are the ten things that he said to me.

1. I love you so "muchi-muchi". 
yes he created that so "muchi-muchi" things. so annoying yet so cutee kan hahaha.

2. sayang, I really miss you. 
I miss you too!

3. always think positive. 
for emotional person like me? ermm okay baby, okay hahaha.

4. aku mau jadi Super Saiya. 

5. you are the only one I want.
awwh, so selfish, and sexy!

6. I want to own a transformer.
I am a proud girl to date a very ambitious boy.

7. sayang, aku baru gunting rambut. handsome kah?
a conversation during video call.

8. I am very happy with you.
I put this here because I don't want to forget that you are once very happy with me.

9. you are so cute.
thank you. you are so sweet.

10. mata aku seksi kan yank?
hahaha this boy of mine. I've just got to say yes.

Yes because, I love that boy so, so much ;)

I love the way how the boy and I keep each other updated during this semester break through any existing social apps. It is just feel so good to know the person that you love are always thinking about you too and stay connected! I can't wait to see you in real, Ben. I miss you more than I can say.

Happy monthsary. I love you!

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

life update

{not latest photo btw}
Hey you guys. I just suddenly feel the urge to write today and talk about random things. 

These few days I hit my sack early but then woke up too early (too). So, I feel very tired during the day because of not getting enough sleep. Also, I have a slight fever almost every night but during the day okay jak nda demam langsung pun.

Gila not? Haihhhh.

Remember at my previous post I said I got like four piles of dirty clothes that need to be done? Well there are actually five piles all together. I have washed them all last week. It took me two days to get all done. Washing, drying, folding, hanging, and put some of them into the luggage. I feel great because doing laundry is really not my favorite.

How was your Eid preparation? Mine is moving very slow. The ceiling of my house is now being renovated so I can't even arrange the sofa and do some cleaning because house is filled with various of tools, barrels of paint, and white dust everywhere. Its been three days since last Monday. I hope the renovating and repairing work will soon be done. I miss hang in the hall watching TV, without inhaling white dust of course.

Frankly I was very uninspired to live these days. You know those day - you  feel like you don't want to live anymore? Haihhhh. But I have always found the reasons to continue living in my parents, grandparents, family, my cats, and my boyfriend. They gave me reasons to continue living. Love them sooo much!! 

I hate how people could take the person they love for granted. I hate people who favor their friends more than their family and lover. Just because your family and lover would always there for you and forgive you for whatever you did to them doesn't mean you can take them for granted.

I believe there is a way how to appreciate our friends, and it is a must to appreciate every single things that happen in friendship. But people just tend to forget how to appreciate and tend to hurt the people they say they love. People should learn how to appreciate everyone especially the people that they should really appreciate, dammit. Learn it from the books if necessary. 

My talk is getting longer and serious. I stop now. Happy Eid in advance, everyone!

Thursday, July 10, 2014

how to be organized

Yesterday when I woke up in the morning I knew I have so many house chores to do. "Today must be a very productive day!" I say. But lately those type of day don’t happen often lah because I'm still in my holiday mood(?), oh you know. 

I got like four piles of laundry that need to be done but it rained earlier in the morning, so cold lah haih! I don’t even want to touch the water. But it doesn't matter jugak lah. I still can survive another one month without doing any laundry. I have so many clothes FTW!! So I thought I will just let the piles, untouched. 

Ah! But its kinda scary to waste an entire day without doing nothing and time just passes by. Last Monday when I just woke up, I found out my mother was not around. At night, I asked my mother where she had gone during the day. She answered, "to school lah?" (my mom is a teacher). Seriously, I don't even remember what day is today!

Today after I spent some minutes talking to my cats (bahaha), I decided to tackle a project or two. In a corner of my room, there is a medium sized of wooden shelves which used to be my bookshelf. But now, the bookshelf  was loaded with files, magazines and so many nonsense things.

So many stuff and trash (I must say).

I don’t have dressing table here in my room (how about you?). But of course we do need a table to put our grooming items on. So basically, the shelf is where I put mine.

I kept the items that I often use and put away the ones that I rarely or never use. I threw some of them, too. I guess I need to stop buying nonsense things and keep only what I need. More same nonsense stuff more clutter. Like why bought new bottle or new compact powder if you already have one? Just for sake the new one looks way more cuteee-r? Moreover I don't have enough space to keep all the stuff organized.

Why lah I just realize it now? Haih, sigh.

Glad to see everything I REALLY NEED is in place. 

Today I learned ;

  1. To be organized, only keep necessary things.
  2. To be organized, only buy necessary things. Always think twice! And more!
  3. To be organized, throw trash into the trash. Why keep them in the shelves Nanaa?
  4. I don't have to buy a new file within 10 years from now. I found that I have 16 empty files.
  5. Buying nonsense things & finally throwing them into the trash can is like throwing your money, too.

Such a waste.

Monday, July 07, 2014

not to little to late to

{Me and my mummy}

Wishing all muslim sisters and brothers happy ramadhan kareem! May our fasts be accepted, prayers be answered, and may Allah shower ramadhan's blessing on all of us. 


For friends that been bomb-ed and being restricted to fast in another country that I do not want to quote, I really don't know where is the love and what has happened to this world. (I certainly know no one of them will read my blog). Cruelty everywhere. Sometimes I hate to see or to hear or soon to suffer the cruelty, too :(

So, you, yes you who read this, lets pray for them. Don't you feel so sad watching videos and reading the news about them here in social media? Instead of just keep scrolling and skip the heartbreaking news, lets do them some favor. I feel so bad and so sad. Imagine to see your mother losing her legs but still alive and moaning in pain.

Can, not? :(

May Allah bless them, you and everyone.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

happy monthsary

June 25th 2014. Ben treat me a special lunch today because today is special and of course because I am special too.

{My favourite boy}

Thank you for being there for me all this while, bring me up because I am so, so down, deal with me at my worst, and still loves me at my best. But you know what I love the most is - the way how you make me feel, feels good to me. Past few months was such a very hard times for me, until you came into my life.

Remember the day we first started to talk to each other? :) Thank you for picking up this ugly duckling. I love you so much. Happy mwah-sary, sayang.

Sunday, June 15, 2014

missing people

This is Ben....dan you guys akan selalu nampak muka dia ni di sini. We met years ago but we never talk. Bumped a few times around campus and we were just like, oh hai. He is such a good looking guy, a forward-thinker person, a boy with small appetite wtf mine was bigger, doesn't looks like one but I know he is funny and spoiled, always look serious (but that was just his face), always walk with girls and I'm jealous.

By the way, while I'm typing this, he is missing. If found please return him back.

Because I miss him, so much.

Friday, May 23, 2014

pinky promise

May 23rd, 2014.

I learned my lesson very well. I will grow to love myself, and just live what I love. Two things that I will always remember: 1) If  it makes me happy,  I will always do it. 2) If it doesn't, then I will NEVER do it. I will keep people who makes me happy, who loves me, and accept me for who I am. Live simply, forgive people, smile and laugh more. I will never stress my life with those people who don't deserve to be an issue in my life. I will let them live in my past, now no more.

I promised on my own two pinky crossed. 

Paling Chomel by Nana Ichigo